Whilst I sat on the rocks at sunrise it came to me that this was the only place I’ve been this holiday without an STD.
Now let’s rewind.
After 3 hours of chewing in my ear and no leg room, I arrived in Malia. I had the upmost optimism that I was going to spend the week nurturing a golden glow and forgetting about the diet, with an enormous bag of lays potato chips (they aren’t the same as walkers okay). Little did I know I was about to play holiday hoopla.
Obstacle one. Rejection. I didn’t realise how naive I could be until I was at brits bar. This was the hotspot for getting absolutely obliterated for as little as 10 euros. You would go to the bar men, pay your 10 euros then get unlimited drinks for one hour… what could go wrong? For the second night in a row I wound up in brits bar drinking and dancing with my friends. My friends were off on the pull, eyeing up anything or anyone that would give them the attention they needed for the night. This left me alone, which I was ok with as I was half sober and knew what I was doing. I decided to go and sit in the seating area of the bar. Biggest. Mistake. Ever. I was approached by a man who had claimed to of been “watching me all night”. He sat down next to me, swirling his vodka red bull around in the glass as he spoke. He asked me if I wanted to go back to his hotel with him, expressing that he knew I wanted to. Little did he know, I was on a completely separate page to him. I continued to decline politely, not wanting to embarrass him. He then lunged at me…I pushed him off and with more aggression this time explained that “I said no, so meant no”. A few turned there heads and eyes glanced to see what the drama was. He didn’t like this. Suddenly, I felt a huge thump in my side… the pain channelled across my rib cage and into my stomach. Confused and hurting I turned to see what had just happened. Did he really just kick me? Yes… yes he did. He murmured “don’t ever reject me” got up and walked away. In complete disbelief as to what had just happened, I decided to call It a night.
I was one game down into a long 72 hours. Obstacle two was commencing in 1 hour… I just didn’t know it yet. I decided to pick myself up from the incident last night and being made to sleep on the balcony whilst my friends decided to have a group session of sexual relations with strangers and carry on the day. I put my makeup on, scraped my crazy curls into a bun and slipped into my ditsy lace white dress, deciding to forget about the events of the last 24 hours and start again.
Game two commenced. I was having a somewhat good time at the beach party, I liked the music and the fruity drink I was sipping on out of a beach bucket… so not all was bad! My friends were actually with me too, we were all dancing, singing by the stage and taking selfies in the flashing lights, not caring about the other people around us. My friends didn’t look like they were looking to take people back with them either, the beach party was definitely going to make up for last nights disaster. However, it then turned pear shaped very quickly. I was filming the stage and the music for as little as one minute…turned around to find all my friends had completely disappeared. Feeling panicked I started to look for them. No sign. No sign by the toilets, no sign by the entrance, the exit, the bar, the stage…they were no where. omg. My heartbeat quickened at the thought of being alone. I left the party in search of them and began to roam the greek streets. Alone. The streets were busy, packed with men on mopeds who slowed down to look at me in my white dress, menacing grins spread across there faces because they knew I was alone and not from here. Fear resided in my body, it felt like nasty butterflies fighting in my stomach and throat as I carried on walking looking for my friends. Still no sign. After an hour of searching, panic quickening in my body by the second, the last straw was a greek man who grabbed me and ran his fingers across my waist, tapping on me like fingers on a keyboard. I ran. Ran back to the crumby hotel room with no air condition, tears streaming down my face because I hadn’t found my friends who could be anywhere and out of sheer fright. I got back to the hotel room and wanted my mum. It was like I was five years old again and having a nightmare where I screamed for mum to come into my bedroom and comfort me. Within a minute I had her on the other end of the phone, sobbing my heart out and explaining what had happened and that I wanted to come home. Within five minutes I was booked on the next flight home and my travel had been arranged. It was as if mum was involved in a life or death situation the way she managed to get me home and calm me down so quickly. I had lost the game of holiday hoopla…
At sunrise, I awoke. I saw my friends and some unfamiliar faces curled up in the single beds next to me. Well they’d made it back somehow, completely disregarding my existence. Picking up a T-shirt, shorts and flip-flops, I headed towards the beach.
Alone, I sat on the rock reeling from the events of the last 48 hours. It was the most at peace I had been, my heartbeat returning to a normal beat. The sun was rising the warm glow spreading across the sapphire ocean and creeping up the beach, reflecting off of the stack of clean glasses on the side of the beach bar. The Waves splashed calmly against the rock I was using as a chair, tickling my toes. It was so beautiful. Everyone back at the hotel was missing this for what? sex and booze.
Smiling I thought to myself… this rock is the only place without an STD.