Connecting with people can be difficult. When you’re meant to click with someone you just do, however, lines can be blurred and paths can be crossed…
Not long ago two people began to blur the lines of friendship in my life. Anyone that knows me knows that I like to make people happy. I am a self confessed people pleaser. Even though at times it has landed me in hot water and back fired on me.
I became close with this pair during my last few years at school. I was happy to have there friendship, we would do fun things like go shopping, or to the cinema and parties together. Like it should be when you’re in a friendship group. We would talk and laugh and gossip just like young girls do…we never really fell out, even though that is common with girls as we’re sensitive. All was good, they contributed to making my education less of a serious affair.
But one day, I had gotten a job. I was working and earning money weekly, I would work hard, long hours, 6am shifts and always strive for more. Both of them had jobs themselves but they seemed to never have any money. We would go for food in our break times and free periods…they used to pay but the bill always fell on my lap.
“I’ve lost my card”
“I have no money for dinner, sorry I didn’t tell you”
“Can I have this for my birthday?”
“I didn’t buy a train ticket can you cover for me?”
To all of these questions my answer would be yes. I would always help them whenever they needed it. I never wanted them to go without. The costs would mount on me weekly. It was like I had two children that I never gave birth too…
Well one day I snapped. I was fed up…I had been doing this for six months. Always caring for them. On my birthday I didn’t even get a card. I felt so unappreciated after everything I did for them always going one step further to show they were valued in my life. They didn’t care. So I snapped. I told them how I felt and lost my entire friendship group. I was alone. No one wanted to talk to me or understand my point. Friends I had years before they came along no longer bothered with me. It spun on me to make me look evil. I never wanted that to happen, or to be portrayed as some demon. I just wanted a thank you…
They blurred the lines of our friendship.
No one ever notices when you’re being provoked, just when you retaliate.
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