What writing means to me

We all have our little hobbies or our ways to release life sometimes, because life is hard yet amazing all at the same time. Writing is my release.

Sometimes I forget that this little blog I started writing on over a year ago has genuine viewers, anyone in the world can find my link, log on and read when I am in pain, when I am happy, heartbroken or content…I forget how many people have seen me in the purest light possible.

But I love it. It feels like a therapy session in a way, or just a way to show people a place I have been to or someone I have met that has made an impact on my life. Writing brings me closure and allows me to refocus, it allows me to speak and develop, it has helped me to grow in some situations I thought I would never learn from.

Writing is a way for me to create my own little world, solely dependant on me, my brain and my words…

My life has been crazy this year, it has had so many changes, people have come and gone but the one constant that has always remained is my writing.

Intent for content

x

My take on the gym

Okay, so…the dreaded gym. Well it’s not dreaded when you begin going and start enjoying yourself… I tell fibs.

However, recently when I have been in the gym I have been forming somewhat an opinion – or actually lets call it an observation on people.

For example…Makeup?! How on earth can some women wear a full face of makeup, full on contour, lipstick, eyeshadow and eyelashes to workout in? honestly do they not sweat like me? I look like a whale that has surfaced onto the pavement when I exercise. My face goes bright red and I sweat an excessive amount. If I was to wear makeup to the gym I could open a bakery from all of the cake coming off of my face. – I’m so envious that these women can wear that and look utterly perfect whilst working out, it’s not fair!

Another observation I found yesterday was the leg press. Now, we all have a little rest on the leg press machine because, erm its difficult! but this guy was full on sat on the leg press machine for 30 minutes on his phone – then there is me free willy trying to make eye contact so I can go on it and get what I needed to do done – you see I like to go to the gym as quickly as possible haha. But he literally did not move for the duration of his time on the leg press. There was not one leg extension or even so much of a movement, apart from his thumbs on his mobiles keyboard!

I love watching the men have testosterone wars though (I don’t observe from the leg press just to add). They all stand before the big gym mirrors, pumping there shoulders and chests as much as possible…maybe to assert authority to one another, i’m not sure. But I just find it interesting to watch because I myself would never flex in the gym mirror – I mean I only have cellulite to flex at the moment but it still counts!

My last observation would be getting side tracked by how some people look flawless whilst working out. They literally have the perfect form, perfect gym wear and know exactly what they’re doing. It shys me away from the weight area because I get worried i’m going to break my back or make myself look like a complete twat…I do my weight lifting when no one is around to avoid the embarrassment…I have also decided that I need to invest in some cool “gym goer” gym wear, just for the added affect…

Thank you for reading as always – I also am loving the communication on instagram – My follower count isn’t high but I like that you all interact with me on there! @intentforcontent

Intent For Content

x

University

Hey everyone,

So, my life has been completley turned upside down in a matter of days. I made the bold decision to go to a university that isn’t anywhere near my home, my family, my gorgeous fur babies and my friends! haha well done me. However, I needed a change, an experience and an oppurtunity to change my outlook on life and broaden my horizons so in that sense I feel quite independant and happy that I am about to study a degree which relates to something I have fallen in love with (writing).

I am proud of myself.

But don’t get me wrong I still feel so nervous as these next few weeks will be really important in terms of finding my feet, my friendship groups and the lectures that commence on monday. I think the friendship groups are the thing I am most concerned about because everyone has different personalities and different kind of things that they laugh about or take seriously. I’m scared to say the wrong thing or do something that people don’t agree with…I dont know I guess i’m just nervous…especially as I am sat in my room by myself currently and feel as though if I don’t go out and socialise I am going to miss a vital part of forming a friendship group out. I guess it’s something you just have to take in your stride when choosing to change your life in this way.

I loveeeeeeee my room though! I walked into town today and got myself some bits to put my photos up and a cute scented cherry diffuser for my room so it looks and smells lovely. My bed is comfy and my blanket is here so all is good!

I will probably post a million updates on here about my new life change haha, i’ll let you all know when im happy when im sad when im lonely or when I don’t even know how I feel!

So stay tuned,

Intent For Content

x

Another World

I have had two readings from a physcic now. I found both to be very different yet very interesting. The experience is a shocking yet calming one. I felt at peace and somewhat connected to this other world which was being provided through this woman. My first physcic reading I went to at a time when their was a lot going on in my world, confusion and pain but also happiness…

I walked into Odettes front room and immediatley she stated that two relatives were in the room. My grandfathers.

“We’ve been watching you”

“Your room is diabological”

“You keep lying”

“Your head is in the clouds, face reality and get your shit together”

Those are some of the things that were communicated to me through Odette. To be quite frank they were spot on.

I was lying to people to cover for somebody…who thank god isn’t in my life anymore.

My room was diabological…which for the record is now emacculate because I moved back home to where I belong.

My head was in the clouds because I wasn’t listening to anybody, I thought that I was always right and I could make a decision about my life when I wanted to…I needed to listen, I needed to focus and grasp what people were trying to explain to me kindly.

I was mesmorised for the hour that I was in this lovely womans presence. It was such a different experience and Odette exerted such a normal personality until these spirits (if you can call them that im not to sure!) came to the surface. She was straight up and you could see that she wouldn’t be interuppted. The way I would describe it would be as if her head and ears hadn’t connected together to listen and understand what her mouth was saying…it was interesting to witness!

Now, I know their is speculation when discussing this other world and many different opinions. Some believe in it and base serious decisions off of these mediums whereas others think it is a load of crap. I think both sides have valid points because how can we prove it through these people, is their evidence that we can see with our own eyes instead of listen with our own ears? But how do these people know parts of us that we haven’t spoken about…how can they make such vast comments about things that haven’t happened yet…

What do you think?

Is this another world?

Intent For Content

x

A Social Media Shoutout

Hiya, Hello, Good Evening to all those reading…

So just a little chatty note for everyone not so much a story or a deep life experience. However… I am now completeley active on Instagram and would love to see some of my wonderful followers over on the app as well! One of my goals for my blog is to develop it on all social media platforms as it is a dream of mine and I want to gain an audience that I can chat to, relate to and support there platforms as well…

My instagrams is @intentforcontent if you want to follow me I’d love to see you there and follow you back of course haha! Comment your names and links in the comment section below if you would like me to follow you!

https://www.instagram.com/intentforcontent/

Hope to see some of you there…lets get networking like those cool high end bosses do with linkedin

Intent for Content x

Trapped

As I sat, locked in his car I thought to myself…how did I let myself get to this place…

Manipulation is a powerful technique, it’s also very dangerous. When you’re being manipulated you yourself cannot see it, however, others can.

A couple of years ago I began a relationship…if you can even call it that, with a boy I met off of the internet. Yes boy. Not man. The beginning was ok, I was happy, I loved the long phone calls that carried on through the night completely messing up my sleep pattern and the weekends I would spend with him in the sun. It was fun. I was excited.

Very shortly after, I mean about a month or two… it all changed. Labels went on and off. Am I his girlfriend? Am I not? what is this? does he want someone else? or maybe more than one?

Insults cut deep, confusion felt like daggers of anxiety all attacking one place in my chest, losing sleep wasn’t for fun anymore, eating was non existent. I was losing who I was and I couldn’t even see it…my family would shout saying Ive changed, I’m not my mothers daughter or my brothers sister anymore. That I was sacrificing my family and friends to be with him. At the time I would scream back that I was still me, defending him and my personality at any cost…I couldn’t even see the jaundice in my eyes and the bone sticking out of my rib. Yet I still wanted him. Why? because I was being manipulated.

I had my chance to break free from it all. I did a whole month free of manipulation…I began to feel like me again. My brothers started to look me in the eyes…mum started chatting again, I reunited with my best friend who no longer wanted to talk to me because of him. But then one day I went back. One phone call was all it took to drag me back in and from that moment on it was completely different. I had no voice, no way out.

“Im doing this because I love you”

“Were going to get married”

“You’re everything to me”

Every time he placed a finger on me and grabbed me, I thought it was because he loved me. Every time he sped his car up, laughing menacingly as he saw the fright in my eyes, I thought it was because he loved me. Even when he crashed the car and wouldn’t take me to hospital for whiplash…I thought it was because he loved me. Insults were cutting deeper, my skin was paler, my eyes…oh my once happy gleaming eyes, untouched and unharmed were gone. Replaced with yellow whites and dark circles. I still didn’t think to talk. I Still thought this was normal. Thought it was just a rough patch. Until one day I was taken somewhere…

He told me he would be back in one hour. Told me he was going to get me dinner and drop some money off to a friends. I believed him. I heard the car door lock and thought nothing of it, I kinda liked it because I felt safe. But Hours had passed and still no show. My already anxious heart began to beat faster. It was well into the night when I decided to man up and try get out. Kicking the windows and doors with everything I had left in my body I pushed and pushed and pushed…until I realised my piercing scream wasn’t going to be heard by anybody. I was trapped.

Days went by before he came back. By that time I knew what I needed to do.

I spent the night with him in fear. I bode my time. Waited until he was asleep. Grabbed my phone from under his head and ran. I fled his house, heart thumping out of my chest. I ran and ran until I reached the train station. Jumping on the nearest one to me. I was free…

Manipulation is a powerful technique, it’s also very dangerous. When you’re being manipulated you yourself cannot see it, however, others can….

Intent for content

x

Welcome x

Hiya,

A huge warm welcome to my page.┬áThis could end up becoming quite a lot of things, but whatever or wherever this goes, You will never be short of a story…

Im intent for content and this is my blog… come along and start this journey with me!

Thank you for reading

Intent For Content x