Isn’t insecurity the most painful, mind consuming thing in the world? Doesn’t it take up so much of your time, happiness and headspace? As I sit here and write this I’m currently guilty of all of the above. The past 12 hours have been awful. I feel awful. I hate myself…but why? why do I do this?
Since I was a little girl I’ve always had slight insecurities but I was younger and not that fussed then. I don’t know how I’ve gotten to the point I am today. A complete mess. But i’m here and i’m trying to deal with it and as others would say… “get over myself”.
Its sad that society has a huge deal to do with this. That perfect image. Social media definitely doesn’t help. Realistically, everyone can say its all photo shop and filters, but a supermodel is still going to look like a supermodel without the filter. I mean it leads people to dark places, even getting surgery because they don’t feel good enough or like they match society’s idea of perfection. People, especially women, are destroying the beauty they were born with, going to far and getting hated on after its happened. If we took society, social media and comparisons out of the equation I bet 100% of women would be happier and prouder in there own skin.
The thoughts that consume my mind are that I am ugly. Im not worth it. Im a downgrade. Im fat. It constantly whirls round in my head and although sometimes I can leave it be…the thoughts are always there tip tapping back. My insecurity has destroyed my self confidence because I am constantly concerned that I am not a skinny girl with silicone on my chest and beautiful long blonde flowing hair. It makes me unhappy beyond belief and has made me so sensitive. I feel that once I have filler in my lips and extensions In my hair I will be better… why should I feel like that? Why should I change my image that I was happy with a few months ago because I don’t feel like i’m good enough?
I refuse to do this for much longer. I won’t keep putting myself down. I need to learn that comparison will always hurt me and that its not worth it because in reality…there will always be someone skinnier, someone will always be prettier and someone will always be smarter. But they will never be me…
Intent for Content