Contentment

My views on contentment have completley changed these past few months. I feel like without realising I was searching for someone to feel whole. However , I have learnt that you don’t need somebody to feel whole or content…

I hadn’t really taken a step back to look at how my life was because I was engulfed in a routine of not being alone, spending time alone or thinking alone. That was the routine I thought I liked or the one I was forced into. But life for me isn’t like that now.

I have fallen in love with my own routine and my own life all over again. I love snuggling up at night by myself and watching tv before I go to bed in my own bedroom, with my own thoughts. I love going to the gym alone and swimming or sitting in the steam room alone. I love the fact that I have my independance back as it was stolen from me and replaced was a shell of the woman I am now. I was being supressed which in exchange made me depressed . I had no plans for my future however now I know I have a future. I am strong and resilient and kind to others and myself…I am so glad that I am back…

Extracting the bad out of your life is a huge step towards contentment and learning that contentment is found within yourself is another point to remember. Don’t get me wrong I love the people I have surrounding me, because they are the right people, they can make me laugh and smile and take any pressure I might be feeling away. They are kind and helpful and provide me with a metaphorical place I can call home. They contribute to my contentment inside and out and I am grateful they exist.

When it boils down to it…at the end of the day, you are you and always will be so it is important to find contentment your own way…

Lots of love

Intent for content x

Insecurity

Isn’t insecurity the most painful, mind consuming thing in the world? Doesn’t it take up so much of your time, happiness and headspace? As I sit here and write this I’m currently guilty of all of the above. The past 12 hours have been awful. I feel awful. I hate myself…but why? why do I do this?

Since I was a little girl I’ve always had slight insecurities but I was younger and not that fussed then. I don’t know how I’ve gotten to the point I am today. A complete mess. But i’m here and i’m trying to deal with it and as others would say… “get over myself”.

Its sad that society has a huge deal to do with this. That perfect image. Social media definitely doesn’t help. Realistically, everyone can say its all photo shop and filters, but a supermodel is still going to look like a supermodel without the filter. I mean it leads people to dark places, even getting surgery because they don’t feel good enough or like they match society’s idea of perfection. People, especially women, are destroying the beauty they were born with, going to far and getting hated on after its happened. If we took society, social media and comparisons out of the equation I bet 100% of women would be happier and prouder in there own skin.

The thoughts that consume my mind are that I am ugly. Im not worth it. Im a downgrade. Im fat. It constantly whirls round in my head and although sometimes I can leave it be…the thoughts are always there tip tapping back. My insecurity has destroyed my self confidence because I am constantly concerned that I am not a skinny girl with silicone on my chest and beautiful long blonde flowing hair. It makes me unhappy beyond belief and has made me so sensitive. I feel that once I have filler in my lips and extensions In my hair I will be better… why should I feel like that? Why should I change my image that I was happy with a few months ago because I don’t feel like i’m good enough?

I refuse to do this for much longer. I won’t keep putting myself down. I need to learn that comparison will always hurt me and that its not worth it because in reality…there will always be someone skinnier, someone will always be prettier and someone will always be smarter. But they will never be me…

Intent for Content

x

Never forget to talk

Afternoon all,

I wanted to write this post in aid of mental health awareness day, as mental health is a topic I feel is important to talk about.

Through my job as a barista I’ve met and spoken to some incredible people and continue to do so. A couple of years ago I was told a story that has always stayed with me as I serve coffee on train station platforms.

A member of station staff approached the coffee shop one day and bought a cup of tea due to a delay on the railway line. This was because someone had decided to take there own life. He began to explain how this effects everyone around the victim. The family, the friends, the train driver suffering with PTSD and the witnesses…it reminded me of a droplet of water falling into a pool of water and the ripples which increase from the impact.

If that person or anyone for that matter had spoken to someone that day, I believe it would’ve helped. Talking makes you feel less alone, venting can help to heal. So many people feel they can’t talk about something thats on there mind. Maybe because there embarrassed or society has told them they need to bury there feelings but that is not the case. My inbox is always open for everyone, whenever or wherever Im here. Don’t feel alone, please.

Intent for content

x

My University planned a dog walk in aid of mental health awareness day. When thinking about it dogs are happy little beings so I thought it was a fantastic idea. Next year or even this year as their never needs to be a nominated day to talk about mental health I want to put together an even bigger dog walk, with more people, more dogs and more charities involved.