Solitude – Creative Writing Stories University

My solitude had grown wary but today, yes today was the day where I would change that, finally. Today is the day where I tell you my story, the story that has brought me to this place and time to tell you all from a different world…

I had every-thing people would dream and describe happiness is. The diamonds, the cars, the watches, the latest technology and lets not forget the mansion. I had everything that society says can bring peace and happiness, I had money and security. But I didn’t have him. 

I was alone with everything we had built together. I would wake up with the pain of what had happened and an empty space next to me as I turned over. This was, every…single…day. I stopped smiling, laughing, dancing and cooking in the kitchen amongst all of the quirky hanging signs we had picked out together. I was a demoralising presence to be around. Yet I couldn’t change. They say heartache is meant to get better, eventually one day, but it wasn’t going to for me.

I watched them kill him. Watched them propel the knife back and forth, immediately penetrating through his skin and into his body. They had a hold of me. I kicked and shoved and bit with all of my might trying to get them off me, trying to get to him, my love, my life, before it was too late. My wail was piercing, I wanted them to do something, anything, stop it. They could of taken everything off of me; the diamonds, the cars, the watches and the mansion. I wouldn’t of cared…but they took him. The piece of my life that matched my heart and soul. The piece that took me as far away from the solitude that wore thin in my eyes and my heart from gut wrenching loneliness. I saw him struggling, saw him helpless, I saw him losing his breath, I saw him look at me as he was dying before my eyes. I saw his lips mouth “I love you” before he collapsed to the floor with nothing left to save him. I saw him die. 

They did that to him. They did that to us. Those four men whom had been hired as hit men to solve a drug insolvency. Those four men that were idiotic enough to be involved in a murder, let alone the murder of an honest innocent man. My man. Destroyed his life and mine. They slaughtered him as if he was nothing, they didn’t listen to my scream. They weren’t going to hear us out, there mission was to kill.

I waited approximately five hundred and two days in solitude before it grew wary. I was in unbelievable pain, silence and loneliness every day. Nothing I did was good enough, absolutely nothing took the pain away. Only he could. I needed to be with him, I couldn’t go on without him. I wanted the security and happiness that oozed off of his character back. I needed him. 

Which is why on that dark dreary day in Wolverhampton I decided my solitude was over, it had worn thin… 

I was found hanging from the balcony in my mansion, surrounded by the riches and lavish things in a home we had built together. I had so much going for me, we had so much planned for our future, yet it was all destroyed. Only to be found by that mail man the next morning. It was over. That’s it, that’s my story. That is how I died, wanting to be with him. 

University

Hey everyone,

So, my life has been completley turned upside down in a matter of days. I made the bold decision to go to a university that isn’t anywhere near my home, my family, my gorgeous fur babies and my friends! haha well done me. However, I needed a change, an experience and an oppurtunity to change my outlook on life and broaden my horizons so in that sense I feel quite independant and happy that I am about to study a degree which relates to something I have fallen in love with (writing).

I am proud of myself.

But don’t get me wrong I still feel so nervous as these next few weeks will be really important in terms of finding my feet, my friendship groups and the lectures that commence on monday. I think the friendship groups are the thing I am most concerned about because everyone has different personalities and different kind of things that they laugh about or take seriously. I’m scared to say the wrong thing or do something that people don’t agree with…I dont know I guess i’m just nervous…especially as I am sat in my room by myself currently and feel as though if I don’t go out and socialise I am going to miss a vital part of forming a friendship group out. I guess it’s something you just have to take in your stride when choosing to change your life in this way.

I loveeeeeeee my room though! I walked into town today and got myself some bits to put my photos up and a cute scented cherry diffuser for my room so it looks and smells lovely. My bed is comfy and my blanket is here so all is good!

I will probably post a million updates on here about my new life change haha, i’ll let you all know when im happy when im sad when im lonely or when I don’t even know how I feel!

So stay tuned,

Intent For Content

x

The British Airways i360 – Brighton

Hey everyone!

So, this evenings post is dedicated to the British Airways i360 which is based in Brighton. For those unsure, British Airways is a plane company who decided to design the i360 as an attraction for those visiting or living in Brighton can enjoy.

When driving along the promenade in Brighton the attraction is prominent from all places and directions in the surrounding area. You cannot miss it as it is a whopping 450 feet. A circular, passenger viewing pod slowly moves up and down the vertical post it is attached to as customers of the i360 can observe and enjoy the outstanding views that many may not even be aware that Brighton has.

I went up the attraction a couple of weeks ago. It cost around about £20.00 for a standard ticket, however, there is an option of going V.I.P and being treated to food and drinks at ground level as you witness the seafront before stepping into the pod. The staff are friendly as you queue to go into the private area to wait for its decent downwards.

I wont give away the exact look of the pod inside for those interested in going! But it was a perfect way to view the city of Brighton. When inside I overlooked all the buildings and the people striding along the seafront enjoying there day. I had time to take in everything the city had to show at a completley different angle. It was incredible to just relax and witness the sun shining down and photograph everything.

You see things like that interest me haha. It was a unique way to view a city I live so close to – only a train ride away. The photo below is one I took from nearly the highest point. You can see for miles and miles…it was beautiful.

So, if you ever are in Brighton have a little look for yourself…

Intent For Content

x

Another World

I have had two readings from a physcic now. I found both to be very different yet very interesting. The experience is a shocking yet calming one. I felt at peace and somewhat connected to this other world which was being provided through this woman. My first physcic reading I went to at a time when their was a lot going on in my world, confusion and pain but also happiness…

I walked into Odettes front room and immediatley she stated that two relatives were in the room. My grandfathers.

“We’ve been watching you”

“Your room is diabological”

“You keep lying”

“Your head is in the clouds, face reality and get your shit together”

Those are some of the things that were communicated to me through Odette. To be quite frank they were spot on.

I was lying to people to cover for somebody…who thank god isn’t in my life anymore.

My room was diabological…which for the record is now emacculate because I moved back home to where I belong.

My head was in the clouds because I wasn’t listening to anybody, I thought that I was always right and I could make a decision about my life when I wanted to…I needed to listen, I needed to focus and grasp what people were trying to explain to me kindly.

I was mesmorised for the hour that I was in this lovely womans presence. It was such a different experience and Odette exerted such a normal personality until these spirits (if you can call them that im not to sure!) came to the surface. She was straight up and you could see that she wouldn’t be interuppted. The way I would describe it would be as if her head and ears hadn’t connected together to listen and understand what her mouth was saying…it was interesting to witness!

Now, I know their is speculation when discussing this other world and many different opinions. Some believe in it and base serious decisions off of these mediums whereas others think it is a load of crap. I think both sides have valid points because how can we prove it through these people, is their evidence that we can see with our own eyes instead of listen with our own ears? But how do these people know parts of us that we haven’t spoken about…how can they make such vast comments about things that haven’t happened yet…

What do you think?

Is this another world?

Intent For Content

x

Contentment

My views on contentment have completley changed these past few months. I feel like without realising I was searching for someone to feel whole. However , I have learnt that you don’t need somebody to feel whole or content…

I hadn’t really taken a step back to look at how my life was because I was engulfed in a routine of not being alone, spending time alone or thinking alone. That was the routine I thought I liked or the one I was forced into. But life for me isn’t like that now.

I have fallen in love with my own routine and my own life all over again. I love snuggling up at night by myself and watching tv before I go to bed in my own bedroom, with my own thoughts. I love going to the gym alone and swimming or sitting in the steam room alone. I love the fact that I have my independance back as it was stolen from me and replaced was a shell of the woman I am now. I was being supressed which in exchange made me depressed . I had no plans for my future however now I know I have a future. I am strong and resilient and kind to others and myself…I am so glad that I am back…

Extracting the bad out of your life is a huge step towards contentment and learning that contentment is found within yourself is another point to remember. Don’t get me wrong I love the people I have surrounding me, because they are the right people, they can make me laugh and smile and take any pressure I might be feeling away. They are kind and helpful and provide me with a metaphorical place I can call home. They contribute to my contentment inside and out and I am grateful they exist.

When it boils down to it…at the end of the day, you are you and always will be so it is important to find contentment your own way…

Lots of love

Intent for content x

My Bestfriend

She is strong,

She is beautiful,

She is powerful,

She is the kindest,

She is honest,

She is my bestfriend…

She knows when i’m sad and when i’m happy. She can detect how i’m feeling from a single message or a look. Thats what I love about her,

I admire her strength because oh has she faced things that some would cave to,

I admire her beauty because she has it inside and out, those close to her feel safe and respected, she lights up a room with her smile and confidence,

I admire her power, her opinion matters to me, she has the ability to set me straight and help me see things from anothers perspective,

I admire her kindness, anyone that knows her knows that she would do anything for anyone, she gives and gives, and will always make you feel included and wanted,

I admire her honesty, I find it rare in others honesty…but my best friend will tell you when you’re right or wrong, whether that suits you or it doesn’t, she is the realest,

I am proud of her. Proud that we have shared a friendship for the best part of 10 years. We may argue and disagree (sometimes more often than others) but we get through it and adapt to eachother growing up. We are individuals at different levels, but to eachother we are equals.

That is my best friend.

Intent For Content

x

Fate

“The developments of events outside a persons control. Regarded as predetermined by a supernatural power”.

What do you think about fate?

Do you believe that everything in life happens for a reason?

I believe in fate. I believe that you can always hold on to the aspect of fate. Especially when things are tough…or even when they aren’t. I think one day we all end up exactly where we are supposed to be, with exactly who we’re supposed to be with. I like that. Thats what I tell myself. I make sure I remind myself of fate often because one day, the paths my life paints for me will be because of fate…and a little bit of direction.

For example making a career for myself, one that I am happy with, one that serves purpose and contentment for me. I don’t want to think to myself one day that I have regrets and didn’t experience what I was meant to experience. I want to write, whatever i’m doing I want to write. I know that. I believe fate will take me there.

Another one is relationships. I feel like I write a lot about love and relationships. I think its because I love the idea of being in love, I believe in love. I want love. That perfect person to snuggle up with at night, share how your days been, laugh and experience things together… and one that supports you in everything you do and vice versa. Sometimes I have craved love so much that I have rerouted my life to focus on that or a person. However, my mum reminded me of something that I never stop to think of…

“If someone is meant for you, they will make it work no matter the circumstance, no matter the distance and no matter the obstacle…and if they don’t then that person is not for you”. When contemplating this I believe that following this will allow fate to take its course so you end up with who you are meant to be with. Even if sometimes it is going to mean holding the door open for some…fate will take its due course.

I think those are the main details that lead me to fate. Other things such as friendship, travel, education, holidays and events all pave the way to how our lives are meant to end up.

Thats what I believe.

Intent For Content

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