Dear Diary – Creative Writing

Creative Writing Stories

I am a little scared today…I didn’t sleep much last night. I couldn’t, too much noise. The air raid siren went off at 7pm when we were having dinner and we ran to the bottom of the garden where our bunker is and we have been here ever since.

Mother keeps telling me it is going to be alright, that the horrible people that like destroying things and our home are going to stop being horrible one day. That we just have to stay here, in our bunker, with our books and games and horrible, cold beans that are coming out of a tin and wait, wait to be told it is over. I know Alysia is right when she says we musn’t complain, and I wouldn’t understand the half of what is going on but I do. I know I’m her little brother and it’s easier to say that to me, but I can see what they see.

I can see the war outside. I can, how can I not?

I miss father. I miss him reading to me before bed, or kicking the ball about our garden after I’ve finished all of my maths puzzles ready for school. I wonder where he is, I wonder if he is ok…if he is hurt. My god diary I miss him, do you think he got my letter? I sent it 2 weeks ago now but I haven’t heard back. Oh what do you know you’re just a piece of paper at the end of the day, I’m so silly. I know he’s busy anyway…but I miss him…we all do.

Speak tomorrow Diary

Love Tommy 🙂

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Getting Back With Your Ex ~ Lost Cause Or Not?

relationships

I have been pondering the thought of whether getting back into a relationship after, for whatever reason, you decided to call it quits, is a good idea. Can some couples go back to being the way that they were before life or eachother intervened with there dynamic?

Personally, I sway more towards the answer of no. I think it’s a lost cause unless the breakup wasn’t either persons fault. For example, if someone goes to university or someone goes travelling and the relationship has ended to protect one anothers feelings. I believe people can come back together in those sort of circumstances because sometimes life does get in the way. I think there has to be a bit of leeway with relationships so giving something one more chance and seeing how it goes is a good thing…however, if two people have broken up and gotten together more than once they need to accept that there relationship is a lost cause, I know this from my previous experiences.

When I was 18 years old I got into a relationship with a 27 year old, thinking I was mega mature and a grown up. Disregarding the other elements that destroyed the relationship such as the mental abuse and physical. I remember it was a downward slope when we both ended the relationship with one another. We did it, not once. not twice. three times? nooope lets try again this is working! four times and then FIVE bloody times before I was strong enough to accept defeat. It became the most mind numbing, pointless thing and it definitley affected us both mentally to the point where a year later I want someone in my life but at the same time I don’t because it scares me the picking up and dropping a person can do to another. So from that perspective I would say ab-so-lut-ley NOT to taking back an ex… You’re better than that.

JD ~ “It depends on what the couple have gone through – toxic relationships can sometimes take a couple of go’s in order for both parties to realise how detrimental they are to eachother. However I’ve known people to get back together and make it because they needed time to work on themselves in order to be part of a due.”

LM ~ “If the relationship ended just because of something like distance in a long distance relationship then I reckon get back together if your paths cross. Cheating or fallen out of love – absolutley do not take back but if it ended due to circumstance and life but there was still something there then absolutley go for it.”

BT ~ “If I got back with an ex where the relationship failed due to serious reasons I would be seen as weak. It is never a good idea to get back with an ex…unless there is a different circumstance.

The answers I look for in these questions are more to be debated because can you really. make a weighted judgement on something like getting back with an ex? I don’t believe there is a right or wrong answer unless the circumstance involes a bad relationship then it is always NO NO and NO, but as I have learnt myself that is something that is extremely difficult to do when you’re in love or think you’re in love. However, after conducting research and asking the question “Do you think getting back with an ex is a lost cause or not?” to others, the definitive answer was yes, it is a lost cause.

On my Instagram: tatianaxmurray ~ I conducted a poll asking my followers to vote ~ I thought the poll would be interesting as you get to click one or the other and cannot ponder the reasons, so people’s answers came from there immediate thought when seeing the questions. It was fascinating to get answers from strangers of all different ages ~ The beauty of the instaaaaaa ~ 76% of voters said it is a lost cause whilst the other 26% said it wasn’t.

So if a one worded answer was to come from the question it is yes, getting back with your ex is a lost cause!

Intent For Content

xox

Full Face

Uncategorised

I logged onto WordPress, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter this morning and every other morning this week has been filled with Covid-19 information, jokes, memes and so much more – which is of course extremely important but I thought I would sway away from this and show you all a full face of makeup.

I am in no way shape or form a qualified makeup artist but after a recent Instagram upload (I’ll pop it below) girls have asked me what makeup I use to paint my face so I’ll list the products and links to purchase below for you all.

Okay so the photo next to me is the face I recieved so many lovely comments on!

Eyebrows

I have always had small eyebrows, I think it’s a genetic issue lol- ( because I never plucked or shaved them when I was younger – sooooo that means I have had to learn the art of drawing eyebrows on properly, and focus on what is socially acceptable (it’s hard!) The products I use to make this easier are:

~ The Anastasia Beverly hills dip brow pomade, Shade: Taupe ~ Link: https://www.beautybay.com/l/?q=anastasia%20beverly%20hills%20dip%20brow

~ The Zoeva 317 wing liner brush ~ This is a GAME CHANGER the angle is perfect for filling in brows or drawing them on and it’s under a tenner! ~ Link: https://www.beautybay.com/p/zoeva/317-wing-liner-brush/

Eyeshadow

I laaaaaaav eyeshadow and have so many palettes, at the moment I am however only using the Anastasia Beverly hills palette but there are so many dupes because I know some of them are a bit pricey for people (let me know if you want me to do a dupe post) – I have been mix and matching the colours in both of the below palettes because the pinks in the modern renaissance are go-rg-eo-us

~ Modern Renaissance eyeshadow palette ~ Link: https://www.beautybay.com/p/anastasia-beverly-hills/modern-renaissance-eyeshadow-palette/

~ Soft Glam eyeshadow palette ~ Link: https://www.beautybay.com/p/anastasia-beverly-hills/soft-glam-eyeshadow-palette/

~ Stila stay all day waterproof liquid eye liner, Colour: Intense Black ~ Link: https://www.beautybay.com/p/stila/stay-all-day-waterproof-liquid-eye-liner/intense-black/

Face

The products I use such as foundations and concealers are higher end products because drugstore products never went well with my skin and spending an extra bit of money works wonders in terms of colour matching, effectiveness of the product and the weight of the product on your skin!

~NARS Sheerglow glow foundation, shade: Barcelona~ Link: https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/nars-sheer-glow-foundation.html

~ NARS Radiant creamy concealer, Shade: Creme Brulee ~ Link: https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/nars-radiant-creamy-concealer.html?variant_id=17358

~ Benefit Hoola bronzer, Shade: You can either get the popular shade which I cannot find the name of or Benefit have released a caramel bronzer which looks gorg! ~Link: https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/benefit-hoola.html

Lips

~ MAC cosmetics Lip pencil, Shade: Spice ~ Link: https://www.maccosmetics.co.uk/product/13852/340/products/makeup/lips/lip-pencil/lip-pencil

~Charlotte Tilbury Matte revolution lipstick, Shade: Pillowtalk ~ Link: https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/charlotte-tilbury-matte-revolution.html?variant_id=11180

So, those are all the products I used to create a full face of makeup they all work effectively with my face and give it a clean look (no cakey or sweaty makeup) If anyone wants to know more or wants a video of the application for the facial zones – let me know in the comments or on my social media!

Stay safe during this difficult time for the entire world

All my love,

Intent for Content

xox

Its time to say hello

Tatiana

Hey! I am Tatiana Murray (Tatz for short) and this is my blog, Intent for Content. I have kept my name annoymous for over a year now but I am ready, ready to open my life completely to anyone who may stumble across my blog, accidentally or on purpose. I feared how people who know me would react, would they laugh at my stories, my experiences or my little anecdotes? but I no longer care. Welcome to my world! this is me….

A bit about me, where do I even start!

I am 19 years old, I go to University and I am studying English Literature and Creative Writing (which explains some of my maybe deeper more emotional posts). I love to read, love to exercise – but also eat 900 krispy kreme donuts in one sitting, I started this blog over a year ago now and the response via the viewers i’ve gotten has been amazing! I have loved connecting with people from across the world and I love this kind of community, even though sometimes what I publish could go down well or the opposite. I have always been in touch with writing and even more so now I am doing a degree dedicated to improving the way I write…I am obsessed with documenting everything, I film and log my life every day (maybe I should be a youtuber and not a blogger ahahah) because making memories is so important…especially if you’re ever having a down day.

I sometimes wear makeup and I sometimes don’t, I am sometimes pale yet sometimes tanned, I sometimes have short hair but sometimes its long, I sometimes put weight on and sometimes I don’t and I am ALWAYS happy, but sometimes sad. I cherish my family and friends and I cherish the moments with more money and with less and that is how I make life the best.

So to finish my little introduction here are some photos to flick through – there will be many more… Thank you so much for reading… this has been,

Intent for Content, By Tatiana Murray

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Is it disrespectful to like girls photos when you are in a relationship…

advice

Relationships can be challenging at times without the affects of social media, especially when establishing boundaries between whats acceptable and respectful towards your significant other. Social media could just be a problem for the younger generation and there partners as we are always glued to our phones and have been raised in the generation that social media has got bigger and bigger…and bigger.

A popular topic for debate is social media, in particular apps such as Instagram and Facebook. There are so many other people, friends and acquaintance’s posting there best angles and prettiest filters, as well as there figures for everyone to see. Innocent actions such as posting a photo or a video can trigger anger, jealousy or sometimes insecurity when these posts are liked by those in a relationship and opinions are definitley mixed when talking about it. Is it stupid to be angry at something online? Should it really be a cause for accusations? Is the argument justified?

What do you think?

Personally, if I was in a relationship (which im not – im very single, however very happy!) this wouldn’t bother me…I mean it bothered me when my ex partner slept with other people, not so much the liking photos haha. I put social media in a seperate box to the real world, even though I do get insecure I wouldn’t say that my partner liking another womans photo is justification for arguments and potentially ruining a good thing but I can understand why people can be affected by it.

I was thinking a lot about it so asked around and one of the reasons that affected some people was the insecurity when seeing that there boyfriend/girlfriend has liked someone of the opposite sex photo. I was told by someone that it affects them because the person who has posted the photo can see who has liked it which triggers insecurity in there mind. I can empathise with this point of view because feeling insecure and needing support in your relationship is valid by all means, and if social media responses causes this then it is understandable.

My take on the gym

A Personal Perspective, Travel, Places & Lifestyle, Uncategorised

Okay, so…the dreaded gym. Well it’s not dreaded when you begin going and start enjoying yourself… I tell fibs.

However, recently when I have been in the gym I have been forming somewhat an opinion – or actually lets call it an observation on people.

For example…Makeup?! How on earth can some women wear a full face of makeup, full on contour, lipstick, eyeshadow and eyelashes to workout in? honestly do they not sweat like me? I look like a whale that has surfaced onto the pavement when I exercise. My face goes bright red and I sweat an excessive amount. If I was to wear makeup to the gym I could open a bakery from all of the cake coming off of my face. – I’m so envious that these women can wear that and look utterly perfect whilst working out, it’s not fair!

Another observation I found yesterday was the leg press. Now, we all have a little rest on the leg press machine because, erm its difficult! but this guy was full on sat on the leg press machine for 30 minutes on his phone – then there is me free willy trying to make eye contact so I can go on it and get what I needed to do done – you see I like to go to the gym as quickly as possible haha. But he literally did not move for the duration of his time on the leg press. There was not one leg extension or even so much of a movement, apart from his thumbs on his mobiles keyboard!

I love watching the men have testosterone wars though (I don’t observe from the leg press just to add). They all stand before the big gym mirrors, pumping there shoulders and chests as much as possible…maybe to assert authority to one another, i’m not sure. But I just find it interesting to watch because I myself would never flex in the gym mirror – I mean I only have cellulite to flex at the moment but it still counts!

My last observation would be getting side tracked by how some people look flawless whilst working out. They literally have the perfect form, perfect gym wear and know exactly what they’re doing. It shys me away from the weight area because I get worried i’m going to break my back or make myself look like a complete twat…I do my weight lifting when no one is around to avoid the embarrassment…I have also decided that I need to invest in some cool “gym goer” gym wear, just for the added affect…

Thank you for reading as always – I also am loving the communication on instagram – My follower count isn’t high but I like that you all interact with me on there! @intentforcontent

Intent For Content

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Solitude – Creative Writing Stories University

Creative Writing Stories

My solitude had grown wary but today, yes today was the day where I would change that, finally. Today is the day where I tell you my story, the story that has brought me to this place and time to tell you all from a different world…

I had every-thing people would dream and describe happiness is. The diamonds, the cars, the watches, the latest technology and lets not forget the mansion. I had everything that society says can bring peace and happiness, I had money and security. But I didn’t have him. 

I was alone with everything we had built together. I would wake up with the pain of what had happened and an empty space next to me as I turned over. This was, every…single…day. I stopped smiling, laughing, dancing and cooking in the kitchen amongst all of the quirky hanging signs we had picked out together. I was a demoralising presence to be around. Yet I couldn’t change. They say heartache is meant to get better, eventually one day, but it wasn’t going to for me.

I watched them kill him. Watched them propel the knife back and forth, immediately penetrating through his skin and into his body. They had a hold of me. I kicked and shoved and bit with all of my might trying to get them off me, trying to get to him, my love, my life, before it was too late. My wail was piercing, I wanted them to do something, anything, stop it. They could of taken everything off of me; the diamonds, the cars, the watches and the mansion. I wouldn’t of cared…but they took him. The piece of my life that matched my heart and soul. The piece that took me as far away from the solitude that wore thin in my eyes and my heart from gut wrenching loneliness. I saw him struggling, saw him helpless, I saw him losing his breath, I saw him look at me as he was dying before my eyes. I saw his lips mouth “I love you” before he collapsed to the floor with nothing left to save him. I saw him die. 

They did that to him. They did that to us. Those four men whom had been hired as hit men to solve a drug insolvency. Those four men that were idiotic enough to be involved in a murder, let alone the murder of an honest innocent man. My man. Destroyed his life and mine. They slaughtered him as if he was nothing, they didn’t listen to my scream. They weren’t going to hear us out, there mission was to kill.

I waited approximately five hundred and two days in solitude before it grew wary. I was in unbelievable pain, silence and loneliness every day. Nothing I did was good enough, absolutely nothing took the pain away. Only he could. I needed to be with him, I couldn’t go on without him. I wanted the security and happiness that oozed off of his character back. I needed him. 

Which is why on that dark dreary day in Wolverhampton I decided my solitude was over, it had worn thin… 

I was found hanging from the balcony in my mansion, surrounded by the riches and lavish things in a home we had built together. I had so much going for me, we had so much planned for our future, yet it was all destroyed. Only to be found by that mail man the next morning. It was over. That’s it, that’s my story. That is how I died, wanting to be with him. 

The British Airways i360 – Brighton

Travel, Places & Lifestyle

Hey everyone!

So, this evenings post is dedicated to the British Airways i360 which is based in Brighton. For those unsure, British Airways is a plane company who decided to design the i360 as an attraction for those visiting or living in Brighton can enjoy.

When driving along the promenade in Brighton the attraction is prominent from all places and directions in the surrounding area. You cannot miss it as it is a whopping 450 feet. A circular, passenger viewing pod slowly moves up and down the vertical post it is attached to as customers of the i360 can observe and enjoy the outstanding views that many may not even be aware that Brighton has.

I went up the attraction a couple of weeks ago. It cost around about ÂŁ20.00 for a standard ticket, however, there is an option of going V.I.P and being treated to food and drinks at ground level as you witness the seafront before stepping into the pod. The staff are friendly as you queue to go into the private area to wait for its decent downwards.

I wont give away the exact look of the pod inside for those interested in going! But it was a perfect way to view the city of Brighton. When inside I overlooked all the buildings and the people striding along the seafront enjoying there day. I had time to take in everything the city had to show at a completley different angle. It was incredible to just relax and witness the sun shining down and photograph everything.

You see things like that interest me haha. It was a unique way to view a city I live so close to – only a train ride away. The photo below is one I took from nearly the highest point. You can see for miles and miles…it was beautiful.

So, if you ever are in Brighton have a little look for yourself…

Intent For Content

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Mind Our Minds

Mental Health Matters

Did you know approximately 1 in 4 people in the UK have been suffering from a mental health problem each year? Mental health problems can be anything from anxiety to schizophrenia and all are equally as difficult for the person suffering. I have been reading so many articles recently on male suicide rates rising as they feel as if they can’t talk to anyone if they are struggling. Just because a man is a man doesn’t mean that he should feel like it affects his masculinity if he is struggling mentally, because it doesn’t.

“The rate of suicides in Britain has risen sharply to its highest level since 2002, with men accounting for three-quarters of the number of people who took their own lives last year, official figures show.” – The guardian.

I have in particularly paid attention to the amount of young people suffering with mental health or coming to the irreversible conclusion to end there own life. It is saddening in so many ways and I wanted to bring light to it on my blog and on my social medias because I feel it is important to keep stimulating the conversation of mental health to normalise it and to help people.

I went through a period of severe sadness, I was prescribed sleeping tablets at night time because my thoughts became profound, I stopped talking to my mum and my brothers and my friends, I lashed out angrily for absolutley no reason, I was tired and unsociable, and most would’ve called me rude. Through this dark period I found a release through my writing…

I would say I was depressed for a few months, however, I pulled myself out of the dark place that barely anybody knew I was in. I knew that the storm was going to pass and that I could induce happiness through things such as eating right and exercising. It was difficult though I will never lie, even when doing the right things physically to help I did still struggle. Articles and social media recommends to talk to someone or ring a helpline but when you are in that moment mentally most people wouldn’t be able to do that at the click of there fingers. Talking does help, I realise that now I have spoken about my struggle to those that know me.

5 things I tried, in order to Mind My Mind:

  • Eating right: I cut out the bad food binges that I was subjecting my body too because it wasn’t providing my brain with anything remotely nutritious in order to stand a chance.
  • Exercise: This was a very valuable thing that helped me. Even though I was mentally tired I knew that the gym, a long walk or lifting weights releases the correct hormones (endorphins) which contribute to a less cloudy mood.
  • Talking: Although difficult, people needed to know how I was feeling and although I didnt tell them immediatley and tried to man up and deal with it alone when I did speak, even if it was only a little bit it helped me to release some of the pent up negative energy I was feeling. Going to my GP was the first step to me opening up. Sometimes a stranger is better than someone you know because they can listen and not feel every emotion that maybe a friend or parent would.
  • A hobby: I found my hobby through writing. I wrote and wrote and wrote. Everything I was thinking and feeling I wrote down. My drafts page on my wordpress account is nearly full up haha. But it worked for me and I fell in love with writing on my blog and have continued it now I am much happier.
  • Knowing that the storm will pass: I read quotes and kept in the back of my mind that everything is going to get better one day even when I couldn’t see it because my mind was completley unfocused. I felt the pain of feeling depressed and even when I wanted to give up and go I didn’t. Avoiding alcohol or substance abuse if that is how you see fit as a way to cope genuinley is a contributing factor to your mental health.

Now, I will never claim to be an expert because I most certainly am not. Im not a physcologist or someone whose job is to analyse or to try find the best way to help. I am a real person who has experienced a feeling of immense sadness and those dark thoughts that many cannot explain so I can sympathise with those who may be struggling.

Lets mind our minds together

Intent For Content

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