We’re not just students

A Personal Perspective, Uncategorised

University.

It’s not just appearing to lectures, going to the library, studying in your personal time and submissions. Students will understand this. Whether you’re a student that goes partying all the time spending your overdrat because hey its interest free right, so why not? or one that enjoys being introverted, maybe with a book or a netflix binge after the popular cheap meal of a £1.00 pizza or a pasta and sauce…either way, after countless conversations and a couple of twitter threads with people across the UK and even some in America! I’ve been able to establish some regular, unexplained thoughts that a student deals with.

  1. Loneliness – this is a huge, however, strange feeling a student experiences. You can be surrounded by so many people, those you’re living with, studying with or going out with yet feel completely alone. I’ve felt like this. I find it hard to explain to people because you can’t really. It’s a pang of feeling that randomly comes over you yet overrides you.
  2. Insecurity – THIS is an important one for some people. How could it not be, we’re all teenagers living in blocks of flats or shared housing together – It is human instinct to compare. I did this a LOT when I first moved here… I did it so much that I spent hundreds of pounds on hair extensions so I could find some form of confidence. I have realised now since settling that to put your mind in such a negative space is dangerous, especially when you are miles away from home.
  3. Self deprication – As students we compare ourselves and our ability academically to others which is an additive to the comparison problems…it leads to thoughts such as “why am I here” “Have I made the right decision”…”They’re better than me”.
  4. Money – I spose there have been some positives and negatives to having 7p in my account…its a mad one but it is severely stressful to so many students – loans not covering your rent, parents are f**king skint and so are you, so you crumble under the financial pressure waiting for future employers to get back to you to pay you minimum wage whilst balancing lectures, sleep a social life and getting work done – Although I hate to admit it, having no money has helped me to focus in on what really matters, the people around me…the living not the life kinda thing. – I will always understand that unexplained feeling though… I get it!

I wanted to write about these thoughts and feelings because of the conversations I’ve had and the amount of people that have agreed with me is scary – but I have gotten them to talk about it, not suffer in there own mind and find a place of calm. There is a lot of stigma around students and student life, mostly associated with partying…but what about the rest? Sometimes people think we all have it so easy…

We’re not just students.

Intent for content

x

p.s – a lot of you have been getting in touch from my instagram (tatianaxmurray) and I love it! That is where I am mostly if you ever need to find me or want me to write a follow up post about university, hmu! xx

Another World

Uncategorised

I have had two readings from a physcic now. I found both to be very different yet very interesting. The experience is a shocking yet calming one. I felt at peace and somewhat connected to this other world which was being provided through this woman. My first physcic reading I went to at a time when their was a lot going on in my world, confusion and pain but also happiness…

I walked into Odettes front room and immediatley she stated that two relatives were in the room. My grandfathers.

“We’ve been watching you”

“Your room is diabological”

“You keep lying”

“Your head is in the clouds, face reality and get your shit together”

Those are some of the things that were communicated to me through Odette. To be quite frank they were spot on.

I was lying to people to cover for somebody…who thank god isn’t in my life anymore.

My room was diabological…which for the record is now emacculate because I moved back home to where I belong.

My head was in the clouds because I wasn’t listening to anybody, I thought that I was always right and I could make a decision about my life when I wanted to…I needed to listen, I needed to focus and grasp what people were trying to explain to me kindly.

I was mesmorised for the hour that I was in this lovely womans presence. It was such a different experience and Odette exerted such a normal personality until these spirits (if you can call them that im not to sure!) came to the surface. She was straight up and you could see that she wouldn’t be interuppted. The way I would describe it would be as if her head and ears hadn’t connected together to listen and understand what her mouth was saying…it was interesting to witness!

Now, I know their is speculation when discussing this other world and many different opinions. Some believe in it and base serious decisions off of these mediums whereas others think it is a load of crap. I think both sides have valid points because how can we prove it through these people, is their evidence that we can see with our own eyes instead of listen with our own ears? But how do these people know parts of us that we haven’t spoken about…how can they make such vast comments about things that haven’t happened yet…

What do you think?

Is this another world?

Intent For Content

x

Contentment

A Personal Perspective

My views on contentment have completley changed these past few months. I feel like without realising I was searching for someone to feel whole. However , I have learnt that you don’t need somebody to feel whole or content…

I hadn’t really taken a step back to look at how my life was because I was engulfed in a routine of not being alone, spending time alone or thinking alone. That was the routine I thought I liked or the one I was forced into. But life for me isn’t like that now.

I have fallen in love with my own routine and my own life all over again. I love snuggling up at night by myself and watching tv before I go to bed in my own bedroom, with my own thoughts. I love going to the gym alone and swimming or sitting in the steam room alone. I love the fact that I have my independance back as it was stolen from me and replaced was a shell of the woman I am now. I was being supressed which in exchange made me depressed . I had no plans for my future however now I know I have a future. I am strong and resilient and kind to others and myself…I am so glad that I am back…

Extracting the bad out of your life is a huge step towards contentment and learning that contentment is found within yourself is another point to remember. Don’t get me wrong I love the people I have surrounding me, because they are the right people, they can make me laugh and smile and take any pressure I might be feeling away. They are kind and helpful and provide me with a metaphorical place I can call home. They contribute to my contentment inside and out and I am grateful they exist.

When it boils down to it…at the end of the day, you are you and always will be so it is important to find contentment your own way…

Lots of love

Intent for content x

Fate

A Personal Perspective

“The developments of events outside a persons control. Regarded as predetermined by a supernatural power”.

What do you think about fate?

Do you believe that everything in life happens for a reason?

I believe in fate. I believe that you can always hold on to the aspect of fate. Especially when things are tough…or even when they aren’t. I think one day we all end up exactly where we are supposed to be, with exactly who we’re supposed to be with. I like that. Thats what I tell myself. I make sure I remind myself of fate often because one day, the paths my life paints for me will be because of fate…and a little bit of direction.

For example making a career for myself, one that I am happy with, one that serves purpose and contentment for me. I don’t want to think to myself one day that I have regrets and didn’t experience what I was meant to experience. I want to write, whatever i’m doing I want to write. I know that. I believe fate will take me there.

Another one is relationships. I feel like I write a lot about love and relationships. I think its because I love the idea of being in love, I believe in love. I want love. That perfect person to snuggle up with at night, share how your days been, laugh and experience things together… and one that supports you in everything you do and vice versa. Sometimes I have craved love so much that I have rerouted my life to focus on that or a person. However, my mum reminded me of something that I never stop to think of…

“If someone is meant for you, they will make it work no matter the circumstance, no matter the distance and no matter the obstacle…and if they don’t then that person is not for you”. When contemplating this I believe that following this will allow fate to take its course so you end up with who you are meant to be with. Even if sometimes it is going to mean holding the door open for some…fate will take its due course.

I think those are the main details that lead me to fate. Other things such as friendship, travel, education, holidays and events all pave the way to how our lives are meant to end up.

Thats what I believe.

Intent For Content

x